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Monday, January 9, 2012

Merrell Road Glove Giveaway!!



Citizens.  I owe you all an apology.  I haven't been sharing my swag with you as much as I'd like.  Part of this whole blog experience for me was to shamelessly exploit your desire for free stuff for my own fame-whoring benefit.  Lately I've been relying solely on information and humor to get my stats up.  And let's be honest...it's mostly been information.  Who wants to read that boring crap?

It's just...not...right...

I want to make it up to you.  And just like a typical guy, I do that by giving you gifts and then pretending like nothing happened.  This is a big transgression, so it needs a big gift. 

How about A FREE PAIR OF SUPER AWESOME, CAN'T FIND THESE IN STORES, BE THE FIRST ON YOUR BLOCK TO HAVE A PAIR.....

MERRELL ROAD GLOVES!!!



(Cue confetti and other crappy high school pep rally stunts)

For those who aren't familiar with the shoe, here is my review.  Merrell also has a place on their website where you can view the shoe's stats.  If you're still interested, here's what you need to do.

For a contest this big, I'm not giving away these shoes to just anyone.  You've got to work for them.  So if you want to enter into this contest, here's what you need to do.  In the comment section of this post, I want you to write a haiku poem about why you deserve these shoes the most.  You have until January 23, 2012 to enter. 

Winners will be chosen from a completely arbitrary blend of random number generation, awesomeness of the haiku submitted, the "good old boy" system, bribery, general attractiveness of entrant, boob size, and whatever factors I feel like using.  Pretty much...the drawing will be rigged and I'll probably just give the shoes to the popular kids.  But enter anyway.  Should be a good time...

Cheers citizens!

109 comments:

  1. Farewell... And I'll take
    A brand new pair of sneakers.
    And the lamp. That's all.

    ReplyDelete
  2. If I could write well,
    My own blog would score me these.
    Please give me some kicks

    ReplyDelete
  3. These will never fit.
    My feet are simply too wide.
    I'll trade them for beer.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have man-boobs.
    They are quite large.
    I win by default.

    ReplyDelete
  5. OH MY GOODNESS... I WOULD FLY OUT AND KISS YOU IF I WON!!!!!!! Just sayin.

    ReplyDelete
  6. OH crap. I have to write a peom! I got to excited.

    Oh my good ness
    I would fly out
    and kiss you
    If I
    won.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm a bit too fat
    And need some motivation
    Help a brother out

    ReplyDelete
  8. I've been trying hard
    To post a damn comment - sheesh!
    Beer me those shoes, please.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm a new reader
    Want me to come back again?
    Give me these darned shoes

    ReplyDelete
  10. woe are my bare feet
    frigid asphalt scars their soles
    free me with your shoes

    ReplyDelete
  11. I run without shoes
    I buy shoes like a lady
    I am barefoot guy

    ReplyDelete
  12. Another effin'
    giveaway I'll never win.
    Merrell Road Gloves! Sigh...

    ReplyDelete
  13. barefoot shoes are good shoes
    barefoot feet are better, still
    I am a shoe whore

    ReplyDelete
  14. These shoes I don't need
    But my lonely Merrell Trail gloves
    Have no road brethren

    ReplyDelete
  15. short Texan nerd guy
    isn't sure your shoes will fit
    will make a good shrine

    ReplyDelete
  16. I want Merrell shoes.
    How about you hook me up?
    Refrigerator.

    ReplyDelete
  17. New shoes for Daddy:
    Year of non-consumption
    Spouse says no.

    ReplyDelete
  18. My toes safe
    thanks
    to your generosity

    ReplyDelete
  19. A haiku for shoes?
    I won't sell my soul for this.
    Wait. Road Gloves? I'm in!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I like big butts and
    I can not lie, you other
    Brothers can't deny...

    ReplyDelete
  21. My toes get cold when
    I run in mid forty degrees
    barefoot please thank you

    ReplyDelete
  22. What's haiku, is it this?

    I got these new shoes in the post
    MBGB is really quite the host
    He wanted haiku
    Just for an effin shoe
    Well he can eat his own shite on hot toast

    ReplyDelete
  23. Cold, rainy Portland
    A poor student can't afford
    These very same shoes

    ReplyDelete
  24. Merrill Road Gloves can
    After big shoe injuries
    Help me recover

    ReplyDelete
  25. Ooops -- I meant:


    After big shoe injuries
    Merrill Road Gloves can
    Help me recover

    ReplyDelete
  26. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  27. miles tick by on feet
    no longer imprisoned by
    foam, support, pain, fear

    ReplyDelete
  28. A cool kid I'm not.
    Help me with road gloves, to take
    focus off my nose.

    ReplyDelete
  29. i should also mention un-haikuly the following:

    1. if i win these shoes with a poem it will make my friends stop teasing me about my bachelor's degree in poetry.
    2. it wont make my friends stop teasing me about my moobs.
    3. it will free up the cash on my budget sheet to get some sweet sweet run amocs.
    4. if selected i'll wear a home-made MGBG shirt and the road gloves for the LA marathon
    and finally
    5. your blog inspired me to start my own, albeit less focused, popular and well written blog

    ReplyDelete
  30. You pompous jackass
    Making us grovel for shoes
    Please please pick me please

    ReplyDelete
  31. Read Jason's Review
    Road Gloves are the holy grail
    of Barefoot Running

    ReplyDelete
  32. Merrell your so cool
    Giving us all this free stuff
    Christian pick me

    ReplyDelete
  33. Early winter morning
    My moment in eternity
    Foot traces in newly fallen snow

    ReplyDelete
  34. I run in Vibrams
    My toes miss each other so
    Please reunite them!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Looking out my window, pain
    The run is calling
    I beg for a victory

    ReplyDelete
  36. frozen feet fall hard
    the cold relentless pavement
    Merrell Barefoot Roads

    ReplyDelete
  37. Frost alights
    This discalceated dons shoes
    MGBG recommended it

    In reference To your 10/20/11 post

    Barefoot Rose

    ReplyDelete
  38. what size shoes are these?
    I hope my feet are worthy
    for they are mighty

    ReplyDelete
  39. please send me these shoes
    my feet have need of gentle
    kisses that they bring

    ReplyDelete
  40. asphalt pierces soles
    Road Glove monster trucks my heart
    please...give me free schwag

    ReplyDelete
  41. Minimalism Wins
    For it allows me to run
    with grace and comfort!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Got shoes like a chick
    Was set to buy these anyway,
    but help me, help me

    ReplyDelete
  43. Send me these shoes now
    And I will stop PM'ing
    You on Runnersworld

    ReplyDelete
  44. The smack of our lips
    On your pasty white buttocks
    Will it ever stop

    ReplyDelete
  45. I finally quit
    Drinking and drugs and bad food
    Christ, I need something

    ReplyDelete
  46. Trail Gloves are great
    but not for roads so I need
    Merrel Road Gloves PLEASE !

    ReplyDelete
  47. I love my Vibrams
    Coworkers won't laugh at me
    If I have these shoes!

    ReplyDelete
  48. Oh yeah... and I have beer chillin' in the fridge!

    ReplyDelete
  49. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  50. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  51. I know free shoes will
    help with my quest to become
    Saint Paul Barefoot Guy

    ReplyDelete
  52. trail gloves and tough gloves
    now i see they have road gloves
    need these to feel loved

    ReplyDelete
  53. Merrell shoes need to
    be cheaper so poor sods can wear
    them like maple grove

    ReplyDelete
  54. that is some sweet swag
    can you just give me a pair?
    i beg of you please

    ReplyDelete
  55. Don't worry, old man
    If not Merrell,
    Go bare, I shall!

    ReplyDelete
  56. Merrell, Merrell shoe,
    How I want you more than Gu.
    Don't win? I will sue.

    ReplyDelete
  57. sheep drink, reflections
    cajoling groundhogs jabbing
    anaconda freeze

    ReplyDelete
  58. My soles be durrty
    Road Gloves are what I need
    Maple Grove Ninja please

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  59. All the dumb people
    Who couldn't write 5-7-5
    Don't deserve these shoes.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Bare feet nature loves
    When nature is too unkind
    Road Gloves make feet smile

    ReplyDelete
  61. Ever on and on...
    hushed steps of falling leaves
    on cinder and stone

    ReplyDelete
  62. I will win these shoes
    give me those goddamn shoes man
    or i will kill you

    ReplyDelete
  63. I think
    them are el rowed
    loves arse wheat

    ReplyDelete
  64. Zero drop roads
    Oh where have you been
    My calves will scream with you

    ReplyDelete
  65. I really want you
    Merrell Road Gloves come to me
    I want to wear you

    ReplyDelete
  66. I LIVE IN THE STICKS
    ALL ROADS ARE CHIP-SEALED
    HURTING MY BAREFEET

    ReplyDelete
  67. My trail gloves are done
    I need the merrell road gloves
    oh please let me win

    ReplyDelete
  68. your link in the article about the review just goes to the merrell site.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Beer, boobs, and barefoot
    No better way to live life
    except with free swag

    ReplyDelete
  70. I beg you please sir
    Give me these, and you will see
    My eternal thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  71. These shoes I deserve
    For my husband, them I'll win
    Happy, he will be

    ReplyDelete
  72. Nike Free's right now
    Merrell Road Gloves tomorrow
    Strong feet forever

    ReplyDelete
  73. What the heck is haiku?
    Really, really want this shoe!!!
    Not much I won't do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. After further research, a minor change...

      What the heck's haiku?
      Really, really want this shoe!!!
      Not much I won't do.

      Delete
  74. These foot injuries
    Are becoming quite annoying
    I need some new shoes

    -OR-

    This college student
    Is in dire need of money
    Some new shoes would help

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. -or-

      I do Love Haikus
      My Love for them compares to
      My Love for these shoes

      Delete
    2. -or-

      blah blah blah blah blah
      om nom nom nom nom nom nom
      give me the Merrells!

      (I had to get at least one immature one in there)

      Delete
    3. -or-

      My favorite hue
      is orange, just like this shoe.
      May I win one new?

      (This is my least favorite haiku I've done so far...maybe I'll stop now...maybe)

      Delete
    4. -or-

      My campus is bricks
      Trails are few and far between
      These would greatly help

      (okay so I'm not entirely done)

      Delete
  75. Duct tape on Vibrams
    Bad knee pain with Kinvara
    Need Road Glove, LONG RUN!!!

    ReplyDelete
  76. New runner right here.
    Got into minimalist.
    No turning back now!

    ReplyDelete
  77. I don't like to beg
    But Duke ate all my money
    Girlfriend: "debt trumps shoes"

    ReplyDelete
  78. Soft falls my bare foot
    Rocks, sticks, roots, cinders and glass
    Road Glove save my sole

    ReplyDelete
  79. Running in a dream
    Swiftly crossing all meaning
    Barely a whisper

    ReplyDelete
  80. It's hard - the ground is
    Rising to meet these soft feet
    Road Glove will spare me

    ReplyDelete
  81. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Let fools wear shoes on
    I need health to reach my goal -
    End ultras with smile

    ReplyDelete
  83. I need gloves, my bro,
    To run in those asphalted
    Latvian birch groves..

    ReplyDelete
  84. Again, without shame
    Seeking free shoes -- a fools game!
    Dammit, let me win!

    ReplyDelete
  85. running in the Merrel
    is like a barrel
    of bitter stout
    on my bear-fout

    ReplyDelete
  86. Can I have some shoes?
    Shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes.
    Boy, do I love shoes!

    ReplyDelete
  87. Trails? Sure fun to run!
    But, the lakefront is too flat
    and asphalt abounds.

    ReplyDelete
  88. I'll get them stinky.
    I like to roast marshmallows.
    I don't wash my feet.

    ReplyDelete
  89. I run across land
    Won't find my feet blistering
    With my Merrell Gloves

    John Turner

    ReplyDelete
  90. I love my Pace Gloves.
    How to show husband barefoot?
    Win Merrell Road Gloves!

    ReplyDelete
  91. wife and baby girl
    leave little money
    for superfluous shoes

    ReplyDelete
  92. Toes need no dropping
    I am running in the snow
    Blood circulation

    ReplyDelete
  93. Road Gloves: We want you
    Call my feet and toes
    Let's get outside!

    ReplyDelete
  94. I will use the shoes
    On trails on sundays only
    to spot a pacers booty

    ReplyDelete
  95. The feet will take me
    But who will be the one to
    Bring me back to you?

    ReplyDelete
  96. melting snow and running salt waters
    the distance is long and lonesome
    road gloves carry all and nothing

    ReplyDelete
  97. there once was a guy from new york
    who became a minimalist shoe dork
    he ran and he blogged
    with footwear most found odd
    and wrote a limerick instead of haiku.

    ReplyDelete
  98. Baby girl at home
    Barefoot I feel newborn, too
    Daddy needs new shoes

    ReplyDelete
  99. Marshmallow shoes these are not.
    Give me these shoes.
    Or I'll cover you with snot.....

    ReplyDelete
  100. I like shoes a lot
    A lot of old shoes I've got
    These new shoes I want

    ReplyDelete

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