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Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Mrs. MGBG Answers Your Questions! Part One

Happy New Year citizens! I thought the best way to kick off the New Year was with a bang. And I don’t know anyone that makes a bigger bang than my firecracker of a wife! A couple of weeks ago, I asked you loyal citizens to ask her questions in another ask and answer session. As expected, the response was pretty big. Maybe I should have her take over the blog…

Anyway, here are her responses in all their glory. She said it’s okay if I chime in occasionally too, so my comments are in bold.

Hello citizens of MGBG Nation, prepare to be amazed! I guess that is the way to greet everyone on this. This blog post has been a work in progress for some time. That happens when you don’t work for the government and don’t have a ton of spare time on your hands. Thank you for your interest in what I have to say. I don’t mind being the center of attention for once. It is hard when there is so much ego to compete with. Enjoy!

Do you buy into the whole “barefoot running thing”, or is this just the latest in an embarrassing string of behaviors you’ve had to put up with from your husband?

Being an engineer, I get the whole sciency stuff behind the barefoot running and that makes sense to me. The embarrassing part of this whole barefoot thing is when he tries to do things like the “Disney Challenge”.

For those of you that don’t know about the “Disney Challenge”, it is Christian’s game to see how long he can go barefoot in public before someone tells him to put on his shoes. This is disgusting to me. Please, just put on your damn shoes, you don’t know what has been on the ground at Disney. Barefoot running is one thing and I can get behind that, but being barefoot in public while not running is different. I usually end up doing lots of eye-rolling and asking (okay nagging) to put some shoes on.

But the ground in Maple Grove is sooooo clean. By the way, the Disney Challenge record still stands at three and a half days. Suck on that citizens!

Do you have any strange hobbies or things that you do?

This is hard because I don’t think anything I do is strange. I have a compulsive need to make lists for everything, but that isn’t very strange and someone has to be the responsible one. I can’t remember it all! Maybe MGBG wants to chime in on this one. He probably has a huge list of strange things that I do. I will say that my strange is way less noticeable than his strange.

I think you’re just as strange as me. You’re just not open about it; at least at home. From the stories I hear about your job, that’s where it comes out.

Do you like your job and why?

Depending on the day you ask this question, you will get a different answer.

Let me tell you a little bit about my job so there is some sort of background. I am part-time salesperson and part-time project manager for an independent testing lab. We test medical devices and packaging for other companies. This means that I work in the customer service industry and my day is not really planned by me. This makes for an interesting day, which I like. This also means I have to deal with people, which I don’t always like. Let’s just face it, people are dumb.

I feel a great sense of importance and meaning in the work that I do. We test the medical devices that help people every day. If we get it wrong at work, Grandma dies in the hospital from an air embolism. How is that for pressure and stress? I also have the best team of co-workers. I work with a bunch of guys, which makes every day sound like a locker room. I think I am one of the worst offenders.

I am coming up on my 4th year here and I really like the variety and the flexibility of working for a medium sized company. I also get to break things. Who wouldn’t like that?!

What is your dream job or how would you like to spend your working life ultimately?

I really enjoy what I do. If I wasn’t doing what I do now, I guess I would like to be an Imagineer at Disney. How cool would it be to think up crazy shit all day and make someone else do all the work?!

Outside of a technical field, if I was a trust fund baby (sadly that didn’t work out for me) I would probably work in an animal shelter or coordinating events for sick kids. I think this would be so rewarding to be able to do things all the time that help others that may be in a dark place.

That whole marrying a rich lawyer thing didn’t work out so well either, did it honey?

What is one thing about your life you’d most like to change?

Honestly, I love my life. I would like to be closer to my friends geographically speaking and be able to spend more time with them. My best friend is married to a Marine. This means that they get to go wherever the USMC fancies and I don’t get to see them as much as I would like. I would also like to travel more. I want to see the world. This doesn’t mean that I want to sell everything I own and travel the country in a trailer. I want to stay in a hotel where there is running water and no possibilities of having to deal with black water. EeeeeWWWwww.

My wife’s idea of “roughing It” is staying at a hotel without a continental breakfast. Where’s my waffles Holiday Inn?!

My wife with her best friend Cassandra.

Tell us more about yourself in your own words (without the MGBG filter)

This makes me feel like I am writing an about me for an eHarmony personal ad.

I will start at the beginning. I am #3 of 4 kids. I have an older sister, an older brother and a younger sister. I grew up in Inver Grove Heights (a suburb SE of St. Paul, Minnesota). After high school I went to the University of Minnesota and graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Material Science in Engineering. What’s that you ask? I have a degree in how to make stuff. I learned a whole bunch of sciency stuff about all the things you don’t think about that make up your world. I constantly ruin the “How it’s Made” show for Christian. I spoil it and tell him what’s going to happen before the show tells him. I find this really fun!

Mrs. MGBG with her two sisters. Her brother is in the Army, so it’s hard to get a picture of them all together.

I married Christian after graduating from college. We have been married for 5.5 years and have an awesome 3 year old.

I really like to be up at the lake relaxing in the summer. It is my opportunity to look half Mexican in 3 months. Thanks for the awesome German skin Mom & Dad!

What’s better than owning a boat? Having a dad who owns a boat! Here’s Mrs. MGBG with dad and younger sister.

I love to change my hair color and style. Sticking with the same thing is boring. I am like a tuxedo t-shirt. I like nice things, but I also like to party.

I am told that I am blunt. I don’t care. At least you know where you stand with me. I am not very good at sugar coating things and appreciate the same when dealing with others. Give me all the facts people! I don’t have much of a filter from brain to mouth. I think that is what MGBG likes about me. Pretty much everything MGBG says about me is true. I am way cooler than him and most people end up liking me more after meeting me.


What is it that attracts you to MGBG anyway?

You ask that like it's a bad thing!  Need I remind you that in an informal poll I was recently voted "Hottest Male Barefoot Runner".  The competition was fierce! 

Over the years what attracts me to MGBG keeps changing and growing. I have put up with MGBG for almost 10 years now. I am ready for my picture on one of those saint cards, trust me.
At first I was attracted to him because he was tall and cute. My last boyfriend before MGBG was maybe 5’6” on a good day and me being 5’8” and liking to wear heels, 6’7” was really nice. Also at first I really liked that he was kind of crazy in a meathead kind of way. He would frequently throw things out windows and was pretty much a drunken buffoon all the time. At the time, I translated this to “wow, this guy is a lot of fun”.

You’re pretty fun too honey. But officer! I only had one drink!

I was also 18. I also thought he was smart. Little did I know, this only applied to books and school and not really the practical, real-life things.

Now that we have in a way grown up together, there is a much deeper attraction. The things I liked back then are still important but there are so many other things that are attractive to me. He is supportive. I know that I can trust him completely. I like that he is driven and has goals and ambition. I know whatever I am going through he will be right next to me being my biggest cheerleader. You’re welcome for that awesome mental picture.

My audience has already seen me in a kilt. A cheerleading outfit isn’t much of a stretch.

Why were you first attracted to MGBG?

The first time I remember meeting MGBG was at his fraternity. I was dating one of his fraternity brothers at the time and in walks in this tall, beefy guy wearing a mad bomber hat talking in a Russian accent drinking vodka. I thought this was mildly amusing. After my relationship ended with his fraternity brother, I felt the need to find out more about this goofy guy that always made me laugh and gave me tons of booze.

I still have that hat!

I also felt a huge need to find out more about the first guy I liked that didn’t pay any attention to me. Who knew Christian’s “How to get a Hot Girlfriend” method really works. In a nutshell, he pretty much ignored me. This drove me nuts. I was pretty much used to getting anything and everything I wanted. Let’s face it, I have big boobs and I am not afraid to use them for evil. This technique was new and attractive to me. Finally I have met my match and for once I was not able to completely run over a guy.

The Hot Girlfriend Method works people! Patent pending…

What’s the most embarrassing Christian has ever done?

Where do I start with this one? Growing up I was blessed to have a father that loved to embarrass his kids. After a while I got used to the embarrassment of others around me and joined right in. I cannot wait until Clara gets a little older!

So nothing Christian does really embarrasses me. He got lucky with me on this subject and can send a thank you to my dad. I am so used to the high level baseline he has set that there really aren’t any spikes that make me feel any pure embarrassment. Sorry for the non-answer but there really isn’t anything that sticks out. Maybe I have just buried the memories in a deep dark place never to be let out again.

Naw…I think it takes one to know one.

What is Christian like as a dad?

Christian is an awesome dad. He is really involved in Clara’s day to day life. Some days they have the same maturity level and that seems to help the bonding experience. When Clara was a baby he would get up with her in the middle of the night and wait for me to drag my sleepy ass into the other room to nurse.

Me and my future barefoot runner

Now she is totally a Daddy’s girl most of the time. I am not sure how he will cope with being a dad when she gets older and wants to start dating. I am pretty sure he will have all of the local police department on call and following her around. I could not have asked for a better father for my little girl.

What three traits about Christian annoy you the most?

HA! Where do I start? As I mentioned, we have been together for almost 10 years. There are plenty of things that annoy me about Christian. Number one, he has this strange need for every surface to be completely bare. So much to the point where he will throw things away that we need because he won’t sort anything or ask me before it goes in the garbage. This is probably the one thing that annoys me the most. No matter how many times I ask him not to do this, this learning curve seems pretty steep for him.

I do have a thing about clutter on horizontal surfaces. But Mrs. MGBG has a thing about putting everything into random piles, including said "really important things". Our annoyances there probably cancel each other out.

Number two, (ha ha number two) he forgets almost everything I tell him. I will tell him things that we need or places we need to go and he seems to instantaneously forget them. But for some odd reason he can recall what I was wearing on our third date or the meal that we had seven years ago. Argh!

That’s because I’m not listening to you honey. But I do have a horrible short-term memory and an excellent long-term memory.

Number three, he is not very handy. Don’t get me wrong with a lot of time and really good instructions he can get the job done. I typically have to leave the room otherwise I have a tendency to shove him out of the way and take over. Sometimes I wish we could do house projects together but for the sake of our marriage I usually call my dad.


Number four, consider this one a bonus… he will put off almost anything and everything we need to get done to go for a run. I have been with Christian long enough to know that he needs his alone time. He is an only child and they seem to need more alone time than those of us with siblings, I get that. I asked Christian to hang a picture I bought months ago and it is currently sitting propped up against the wall in our dining room.

You know what it takes for me to get house projects done. Go to your mom’s house with the kid. I’ll knock out the whole list like a champ. AAAAAND…I’ll get a long run in.

Sad. Funny, I found that this section was the easiest one to write. J

That's because we're married.

What is Christian’s most and least favorite chore?

My guess, since this questions isn’t about me…

Favorite: cooking dinner. It isn’t that I can’t cook, he just seems to like it better than me. So, I wait for him to come home every day and make us dinner. Even though I get home a good 45 minutes before him and could have dinner waiting on the table every night, I am not that wife. Get in the kitchen and make me some dinner!

Correct. I also like it because then you do the dishes.

Least favorite: cleaning up the back yard after our two dogs. We have two somewhat large dogs. Large dogs = large amounts of poop. I don’t clean up poop. That is not my department. We decided a long time ago that he gets to take care of the poop and I get to take care of the vomit. How neat is that conversation?

Wrong. My least favorite is doing any chore that you usually do (i.e. dishes). That’s why I try not to do them.

MGBG, did I get it right?

50%. But you did remind me that I have to pick up the dog shit.

Tune in tomorrow to read the rest of Mrs. MGBG's answers!  There's a lot more snark where this stuff came from!


  1. Wow too funny. I haven't even met her and I like her more than you!

  2. I cook at our house too. It's WAY better than doing dishes! Cooking is just another creative outlet for me, and then I get the added bonus of eating it!

  3. One acronym: P.U.A (aka pick up artist). It's a detailed book (that also turned into a shitty reality television show) that states how to pick up girls. I unfortunately know about it through my boyfriend and his friends...and my friend's sketchy roommate who constantly cheats on his girlfriend. Ignoring a broad is up there on the to-do list of wooing a girl. Anywho, great post!

  4. crunchy, I bet you say that to all the local superheros.



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